Slit heart murders

Here is a sample script of a comic I may produce, any feed back or thoughts would be appreciated.  

Slit heart murders

The streets of Beijing are brisling with people as they celebrate the Chinese New Year. However one guy’s celebration is about to come to a end.

Page 1

Panel 1- Wu-Man-tian is a wealthy business man who is have some drinks with his friends celebrating the New Year when he gets a text message.

Sfx – ping ping

Panel 2- He goes to check on his phone.

Wu – one moment

Panel 3- as he is looking at his phone his face distorts and shows shock and disgust.

Panel 4- close up of his phone reveals a text that talks about his wife.

“Your wife is cheating on you”

“How dare you who is this?”

“Don’t believe me check these”

Panel 5- 2-3 pictures of Wu’s wife sleeping with another man.

Page 2

Panel 1- Wu excuses himself as he has to rush home to confront his wife.

Wu – I’m sorry gentlemen, I think that’s me, I better get home to the wife.

Friends – okay see in work on Monday

Panel 2- Wu comes through his front door screaming his wife’s name

Wu - AO-TAN-MEI WERE ARE YOU

Panel 3- Ao comes running in all panicky.

Ao – what is it honey?

Wu – don’t honey me, I know you’ve cheating on me.

Panel 4 – Ao is shocked by his question.

AO – I don’t know what you’re talking about?

Wu – DON’T LIE to me.

Panel 5- Wu hand clutches hold of a kitchen knife.

Wu – if you want to cheat I’ll make sure no one finds you pretty.

Panel 6- Wu stabs his wife in the face, but this is seen on the wall in silhouettes.

Ao – SCREAM

Page 3

Panel 1- A guy is on the phone to his wife while his mistress is on top of him.

Caption – 5 years later

Zin – yes honey I’m going to be at work for another 40 minutes. See you soon.

Panel 2- zin is smugly walking down the street home to his wife.

Sfx – crash

Panel 3- a silhouette of a woman is standing in the alley way.

Zin – hello anyone there.

Panel 4- the woman come out of the shadows, to reveal a stunning brunette however her face is partially covered by scarf.

Woman – do you think I’m pretty?

Panel 5 – zin’s face is dripping with desire/lust

Zin – woo, yes, you are so pretty.  

Panel 6- the woman removes her scarf to reveal her face has been slit from ear to ear and is horrifyingly disfigured.

Woman (AO) – even now?

Page 4

Title page.